When I Fall
by lafantomette
Summary: What can Harvey do now that he has lost Donna? Maybe now is the time to try something... Darvey story! One shot.


_**A/N: I'm extremely traumatized by what happened in the season four finale of Suits and I can't believe those two are over-complicating things like that.**_

 _ **So this fic is just me trying to cope and having fun.**_

 _ **Maybe now comes the time for Harvey to risk everything and finally see how she reacts? Time to jump… But how could a lawyer jump?**_

 _ **First time writer and…I'm nervous! You see, I write technical/legal stuff for a living, not stories.**_

 _ **Leave a review! FEED THE KITTY! It's good karma! Spread the #Darvey love! (-:**_

 **When I Fall**

She really thought it would be easier.

Her working for Louis. Leaving Harvey and his insecurities at this other desk. She hoped it would bring some sense of clarity because their complicated relationship seemed to cloud her judgement. It probably clouded his too.

Maybe she also did this to shake things up a little. After all, they have been keeping status quo since that day in the diner when he begged her to come work with him. How could she define their relationship? They worked together. She knew everything about him and even things he didn't tell her about, and he probably was the person who knew her best. They were more than friends but less than lovers, she couldn't quite put a tag on what they were.

Except that now, a few weeks after leaving him, she could feel it in her bones, her heart, her head: the relationship she had with Harvey over the years wasn't romantic.

It was worse.

It's like over the years, even if she didn't allow Harvey into her personal life, he managed to slowly get there and make her feel safe and secure. He became her necessity. Without ever being romantic.

All that was left now were acidic remarks every time she would ask him something on Louis's behalf and glances tainted with pain whenever they crossed in the office. He clearly didn't understand WHY she left and it wasn't like he gave her the opportunity to explain herself.

So when on that Friday afternoon, sitting at her not-so-new-anymore desk, she lifted her eyes and saw Harvey Specter fidgeting in front of her desk, coffee cup in hand, she was taken aback.

He handed her the coffee. "Hey…Hi. This is for you…" She stared at him fearlessly. "Harvey, what do you want? You only bring me coffee if you want to apologize or if you need something."

She couldn't remember the last time she saw him like this. He seemed…deflated? Scared? Nervous? Was it possible that only after a few weeks living apart she couldn't read him anymore?

He took a deep breath. "Okay then… Consider this coffee a token for both. And yes, I do need you for something."

Oh the nerves he had! "Well, I don't work for you anymore. Ask whatever temp who's working for you today. Unless you already fired the person this morning and then it's not my problem anymore Harvey!"

She didn't have time for this. She had work to do and Louis wasn't the most lenient boss she has had.

She figured that if she started working maybe he would just get the memo and go away. She swivelled round in her chair and started organizing files. He came around the desk and stood even closer. She couldn't even move without her knees touching his legs so she didn't turn around. He put an envelope on her desk, her arm brushing her shoulder. Why did she feel butterflies in the pit of her stomach?

"I need you to read this. It is just a draft but that's something we started together and I can't really ask anybody else's opinion. It is really short and I ask you to read it as…consider this as the one last thing you can do for me, Donna."

She recognized his pleading tone. She didn't even have to look, she knew he was probably making those eyes she can't resist and she hated herself for knowing him that well. But most of all, at this moment, she hated him. She was looking at his hand, palm resting on her desk and she hated the fact that when she looked at this hand she could still see it buried between her legs with echoes of her moaning. It was ages ago and she still remembered every detail. She swallowed her saliva and tried to forget those memories that were bubbling to the surface.

"I'll see if I have time, Harvey. I have work to do, could you please go away NOW, or should I call Louis?"

She saw his hand curled into a fist, knuckles turning white and heard him sighing loudly. He slowly removed himself from behind her desk and walked back towards his office without even looking back. Not that she would know anyway because she was still looking at this spot on her desk where his hand rested, feeling empty and confused.

Almost 8pm on a Friday night and she was still there, trying to find the much needed focus to finalize putting the last corrections on this shareholder agreement.

The brown envelope was on her desk, unopened.

She was curious.

Of course, throughout all the years they've worked together, Harvey asked Donna her opinion more times than she could even count. But now that things were so awkward between them, it just seemed…odd.

The minute she finished typing the shareholder agreement she took the envelope and opened it with her chrome plated letter opener.

Like he had said, the document was a short one, a few pages obviously typed by Harvey himself as no self-respecting temp or secretary would allow such a poorly formatted document out of the office. It was a complaint. But no names were cited and she couldn't believe the bastard would think she would actually help him without even knowing WHO she was doing the work for.

She started to read, it was short anyway and she would send him an email of insults maybe it would be best to know what this thing was about…

 _SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK_

 _COUNTY OF NEW YORK_

 __x_

 _***,_

 _Plaintiff_

 _-against-_

 _***,_

 _Defendant_

 _TO THE SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK_

 _The complaint of the plaintiff respectfully shows and alleges as follows:_

 _1_. _The plaintiff and defendant met in a New York City bar in the early 2000's where the defendant came up to the plaintiff and proposed to him a business partnership, hereby referred to as "partnership"._

 _2\. The partnership consisted of the defendant working as a legal assistant to the plaintiff at the D.A.'s office, where they were both already working at the time. Part of the initial deal was that when the defendant needed something, the plaintiff ought to give it to her._

 _3\. The defendant was the one who laid down the lines regarding their partnership, her first rule being that the plaintiff and defendant could not sleep together while being in the partnership because she said she doesn't get involved with men she works with [hereby referred to as "the rule".]_

 _4\. In or around 2002, the defendant and plaintiff both quit the D.A. Office._

 _5\. On the evening of handing their resignations, the plaintiff showed up at the defendant's residence and stated that since they didn't work together anymore, the aforementioned rule no longer applied._

 _6\. The plaintiff and defendant had consensual mind-blowing sex, hereby referred to as "the other time."_

Wait. Mind-blowing what…?

Was Harvey really sending her this? It was their story. She was shaking. She was mad. She wanted to stand up right away and go yell at him and punch him. A civil action because she resigned as his secretary? He was out of his freaking mind!

 _7\. Shortly after the other time, the plaintiff got a job as an associate at Pearson Hardman (formerly known as Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke), hereby referred to as "the firm."_

 _8\. The plaintiff asked the defendant to meet him at a diner where he offered her a job as his assistant at the firm. She seemed unhappy about the offer so the plaintiff asked her if it was about her rule and she said it wasn't, and then the plaintiff tried to reassure the defendant by telling her that if he would have known about this new offer, he wouldn't have showed up at her door "the other time"._

 _9\. The defendant accepted the new partnership, but reiterated her rule that they couldn't pursue a romantic relationship while working together, making it her first condition for accepting the job offer saying: "we put it out of our minds, and we never mention it again."_

 _10\. In the past year, the defendant herself broke her own rule by mentioning the other time repeatedly._

 _11\. The defendant also broke her own rule by being in a relationship with another attorney of the firm._

 _12\. The plaintiff told the defendant that her being in a relationship with this other guy bothered him._

Stephen. That's one man she would rather forget. Harvey didn't forget, obviously. She knew it now. She hurt him. At the time he said it wasn't a duel. But maybe it was… Her vision became blurry. She felt tears creeping up her eyelids.

 _13\. The plaintiff was in a relationship with a woman for a few months and when he asked the defendant if she wanted his relationship to succeed, she answered she wanted him to be happy._

 _14\. When the plaintiff said the answer was evasive, the defendant replied that it wasn't up to her to decide what it meant, being yet again evasive._

 _15\. Last month, the defendant was charged with intent to commit fraud [charges were dropped later]._

 _16\. The plaintiff was the one working towards the charges being dropped, fighting for her._

 _17\. The plaintiff was very honest about the fact that seeing the defendant in trouble hurts him deeply. He told her that the thought of her going to prison made him want to drop to his knees, and also they are so closely connected that when the defendant is in trouble, he is too._

 _18\. After the charges were dropped_ _,_ _the plaintiff and defendant celebrated at the defendant's apartment where the plaintiff told the defendant that if anyone else ever loses faith in him, it doesn't matter and that with her it's different._

 _19\. When the plaintiff decided to leave, therefore respecting the ongoing rule set by the defendant, she asked why he was leaving and the plaintiff told her it was because "you know I love you."_

Tears were now falling on the page she was holding, the ink staining her fingers…

 _20\. The day after, the defendant confronted the plaintiff in his office. The plaintiff made it clear that he loves the defendant and that he wanted her to know it._

 _21\. The defendant asked the plaintiff HOW he loves her, but the defendant still didn't tell him if her rule still applied._

 _22\. The defendant accused the plaintiff of being afraid to risk anything. Then the plaintiff asked the defendant if she wants everything to which she replied "I don't know."_

 _23\. With the defendant being so evasive all the time, the plaintiff thought she was asking trick questions, to which the plaintiff refused to answer._

 _24\. The plaintiff didn't want to act in violation of the defendant's rule._

 _25\. Shortly after, the plaintiff realized the defendant was indirectly asking him to violate the rules and he decided it was time to risk everything._

 _26\. The defendant came into the plaintiff's office, and the plaintiff was about to tell the defendant how he felt when the defendant informed him on the termination of their partnership._

 _27\. The plaintiff asked the defendant to stay and she wouldn't._

 _28\. The plaintiff knows how he feels about the defendant._

 _29\. The plaintiff thought his actions showed clearly that the defendant is the most important person in his life._

 _30\. The defendant cut the plaintiff's declaration short when he was about to tell her exactly where he was standing with their relationship._

Her heart was beating out of her chest. She even wondered if she could make it through the last allegations without passing out in her chair.

 _31\. The plaintiff thinks that by using a written legal complaint, this time the defendant Donna Paulsen would let him finish his sentence, especially since it isn't easy for the plaintiff to open up like that._

 _32\. So_ _, as_ _I was saying, you are one of the most amazing woman I have ever met. And just because I don't act on my feelings, doesn't mean those feelings aren't there. I never made a move because I would rather work with you than not be with you at all. When I said I had everything, it is because for me, my "everything" is you._

 _33\. Now I understand that you were waiting on me to make a move… But now I've lost everything._

 _34\. To answer your question_ _:_ _yes_ _,_ _I am more than capable of looking at you "that way", I've been looking at you that way since the first time we met in that bar. I thought I was pretty clear and obvious, especially since you've always told me you're Donna and you know everything._

 _35\. Now I have nothing left to lose because I already lost you. I guess I should end this complaint… You know I don't do feelings very well._

 _36\. By reasons of the facts and circumstances stated above, the defendant has breached her aforementioned rules._

 _WHEREFORE, plaintiff demands that the defendant meet him in his office as soon as reading of this document is finalized, so that they can go on a proper date and see where that could lead them. Dated: July 31, 2015 by Harvey Specter Esq., Plaintiff, 601 East 54_ _th_ _Street, New York, NY, 10000_

Donna Paulsen was a mess.

She stood up but couldn't move. Paralyzed. The papers in her hands were damped from her tears. She was a forty-something woman sobbing in a $2000 dress alone in an empty office, on a Friday night…how pathetic.

She just realized, what she just read.

It was the closest she was going to get to a grand love declaration from that man she didn't allow herself to love for almost half her life.

All this time, all he did, it was because she asked him not to do anything. And he was afraid of losing her.

She kicked off her expensive Louboutins and, shaking, she walked towards his office. It was like an out of body experience really. She walked slowly, her bare feet not making a noise in the emptiness of the office floor.

She saw him behind the glass walls. He had removed his jacket and tie, rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. He was reading something. His usually perfectly coiffed hair was seriously askew. She knew he was nervous. He probably had waited for her all afternoon.

She didn't make a sound entering his office, and the soft jazz playing covered the muffled sound of her few last steps. She stopped when her legs were against his desk. He slowly raised his head and looked at her.

"Hey." He tilted his head, waiting for her to say something.

She couldn't move. She just stood there looking at him. She knew by heart every single line the years have drawn on his face. She noticed a few new ones. Probably caused by a lack of sleep, definitely her fault. She felt a pain in her heart.

He stood up slowly and moved to the front of his desk, standing beside her, like any move he would make could scare her off and make her run away. She was biting her lip, trying hard not to cry.

His hand brushed the air around her, years of not touching weighing heavily.

"Donna…I'm sorry."

She slowly turned. Her fingers brushed his. She grasped his hand linking her fingers with his, lifting her head and looking at him. She was pretty sure he stopped breathing.

"I'm so sorry Harvey… and yes, some rules are made to be broken."

She lifted her other hand and caressed his cheek, and then slowly threading the tips of her fingers in his hair. He leaned into her touch, blinked and took a step towards her. She felt his hand on her back and holding her gaze he brushed his lips against hers tentatively, his tongue on her lower lip asking for permission. She opened her mouth, her tongue meeting his, hand finding her way under his shirt. His hands went to her hair and he started nipping her neck as he pushed her against his desk standing between her legs.

She heard him murmur in her neck, between kisses. "You know I love you Donna." One of his hands was now caressing her breast and she could feel his growing need against her, driving her crazy. She stopped kissing him and looked at him: "Harvey…you love me how?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead and took a step back. "Enough to take you out on a date. Now."

She brushed her unkempt hair masking her face and pulled at her dress which was now so high her panties were showing. "Huh what are you saying?"

The bastard! She started whining. "Harvey…you don't think we've waited long enough for this?" He smiled.

"Exactly. That's why I think you deserve to be blown away and I'm not going to do this on an empty stomach." He winked at her. "You deserve to be wined and dined." She buttoned his shirt. "And after, we'll go back to my place," he said into her ear.

"Assuming the date goes well," she said adjusting the collar of his shirt.

He raised his eyebrows. "What could possibly go wrong?" He made her turn around and zipped her dress while leaving a kiss in her neck. "Geez…let me think."

"No!" He panicked. "We really have to stop thinking, Donna! We've thought way too much about this already."

She laughed and said. "It's just that maybe I'm not really into the cocky, arrogant, handsome gloater type…"

He laughed while putting on his jacket. "Oh Donna, I'm exactly your type!"

She put her arm around his. "Maybe you are..."


End file.
